On a whim I entered “landscape architect” as a search string on USAJOBS, the official job site of the U.S. Federal Government. Three of the results piqued my interest: this, this and this, according to the announcements, are positions which “may be located in various locations throughout Afghanistan.”


(Farms in the Hindu Kush mountains. Photo courtesy of GlobalSecurity.com and Space Imaging. Source.)

While they do provide detailed information on duties, required qualifications, benefits, and the likes, I'm left wondering what sort of “assigned projects” whose “planning, engineering, design, construction, and technical functions” the successful applicant will manage. Rebuilding damaged highways, sewer systems, and other basic infrastructure? Providing technical and material expertise in water management and conservation (even though the region has quite a long history in such matters)? Reclaiming marshes from years of unsustainable agricultural practices? Terraforming military and government installations to deter, deflect, and absorb attacks? Revegetating streets, parks, and forests? Biodetecting and bioremediating sites contaminated with land mines, WMDs, and industrial detritus? Joyriding on a Bleex? Indulging some genetic fetish for the ike™? Mythologizing the lost terrains of Robert Byron and Bruce Chatwin? Compromising the tectonic integrity of the Hindu Kush to eradicate its geocloaking capabilities?

In other words, if you currently hold any one of these positions or will do so in the future, let us know once you obtain all the necessary security clearance, if any. See upper left sidebar for the contact information.